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I am starting with site. I have chosen the Tenderloin because it is a place where crisis is visible. A crisis that may dwell hidden in other parts of the city, but here it is apparent and tangible. It overcomes the senses, is concentrated, and is almost suffocating. It has been a place that has experienced crisis for much longer than this current economic crisis.

What is the role of architecture in a time of crisis? In a time of slowdown and limitation?

My goal at this point is to research the history and origins of the Tenderloin and how it has changed over time. I want to understand this neighborhood as a living, breathing entity with an evolutionary story to tell.

It is decided.

Even though I had already decided a while ago it is now certain, there's no pretending it might or might not happen - I am doing thesis. I met with Antje yesterday to make sure the Lab and Seminar classes fit into my schedule and still allow me to graduate on time- and they do. I'm thinking about taking 18 units this semester and 12 next semester, we'll see how that plays out. I'm in for an intense semester. CBD, work, application for fulbright, thesis lab and seminar, pro practice, and a literature class. Hopefully I can take it.

Now I actually need to start doing some research and time is running out...
It's hard not to want to try and incorporate my whole life's belief and philosophy into this project, but I think being focused is important. But first of all is the research. I'm trying not to jump to far ahead at this point, trying to let the learning and process guide me.

And where to really start? I have so many vague ideas about what I want it to be about...
Some things I'm interested in:

The crumbling of old, outdated systems and the emergence of new building systems, network typologies, social interactions.

Process of growth and decay.

Looking beyond the built environment at intangible systems of information flows and connections.

Community involvement. How architecture and design can engage the public in a way that's not as sterile and boring as a panel discussions and meetings. something more upbeat and interactive.

The importance of the architectural process as a tool for creating exchange, experimentation and interaction, not just used to create an end product such as a building.

Places in crisis, places of change, places on the edge, volatile places, dynamic spaces.

small scale - big change

mapping.

Life is precious

Fuck it

fuck expectations
fuck caring what other people think
fuck thinking I am the solution

It's so fucking disgusting
all this sugar coating
makes me want to vomit

fuck caring if other people think I'm scary
fuck suppressing my emotions
over and over
and trying to bend to others wishes and wills

my heart is on fire
and I'm going to let it burn
and I don't fucking care

fuck being afraid that I am responsible for people's problems
and for all the fucked up things in the world

fuck the urge to sensor this because it says fuck so many times

fuck
fuck
fuck

Some thoughts

I believe we are living in a critical time, soon to reach a climax point. Something big is going to happen- is already happening all around the world. Breakthroughs, realizations, resistance, friction. It is uncomfortable, it is a great pressure – as if we have reached the bottleneck and are being squeezed.

One of the questions I want to explore in doing a thesis is how architecture can help seed changes that so desperately need to happen. Change in how people are treated, how people treat the environment, how we build and maintain our cities, and how each individual goes about their daily lives. Because whether we like it or not, everything we do sends ripples of effects and reactions into the world. There is no such thing as neutral. Simply living means you have an impact.

I see the Tenderloin as a microcosm of the world. It is rich in cultural influences, because its inhabitants and store-owners include people from all walks of life and all parts of the world. All these influences and lifestyles are brought together in one of the densest neighborhoods in San Francisco.

The Tenderloin is also one of the poorest and most notorious areas in the city and is perhaps “the last frontier in SF’s ever expanding gentrification trend”(1).

In Santos I learned from Rodrigo and Edgard that if you want to make real change happen, you have to tackle the darkest places. Only when you understand the history and complexity of those places, can you move toward building in a way that truly helps people and the planet. Covering up scars doesn’t work- it just creates more scars.

But in an area such as the Tenderloin, which is so dense, what does it mean to build? What do people need the most there, in terms of physical spaces? How can I do a project that is perhaps small, but creates a large impact, or perhaps starts a chain of events?

My most recent influences have been Lebbeus Woods and Samuel Mockby’s Rural Studio. I want to find some way of combining the philosophy and work of both within my thesis. I like the total immersion into community that Rural Studio demonstrates, and at the same time, I find Wood’s writing and speculations about more grand ideas and trends just as critical to our time.

Explosion

Another Manhole exploded today,
this time at 4th and Market.
I wonder what's happening underground-
seems suspicious to me...